A dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice, he spends his downtime remodeling train stations and making them more efficient. He has been known to tread water, for three days in a row, and writing award-winning operas. He bakes Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes and competes in bluegrass cello. At ten years of age, he read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one sitting. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, he once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. He’s an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.

Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of corduroy evening wear. Years ago, he discovered the meaning of life and forgot to write it down. He is most proud of his prize-winning algae, thriving on four-course meals, prepared only in a toaster oven.